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Disasters are upsetting to
everyone involved. Children, older people, and/or people with
disabilities are especially at risk. For a child, his or her
view of the world as a safe and predictable place is
temporarily lost. Children become afraid that the event will
happen again and that they or their family will be injured or
killed.
The damage, injuries, and deaths that can result from
an unexpected or uncontrollable event are difficult for most
children to understand.
How a parent or other adult
reacts to a child following any traumatic event can help
children recover more quickly and more completely. This
brochure contains general information to help you in this
task.
Children's
Reactions
Children's fear and anxiety
are very real, even though to adults they may seem
exaggerated. Children are afraid of what is strange. They fear
being left alone. Following a disaster, they may begin acting
younger than the age they are. Behaviors that were common at
an earlier age, such as bedwetting, thumb sucking, clinging to
parents or fear of strangers, may reappear. Older children who
have shown some independence may want to spend more time with
their families. Bedtime problems may appear. A child may begin
to have night-mares; not want to sleep alone; and/or become
afraid of the dark, falling asleep or remaining asleep.
Some children will show
their fear by developing physical symptoms, such as
stomachaches, headaches or feeling "sick." All children can
experience thinking difficulties. They can become easily
distracted, feel confused and disoriented and find it hard to
concentrate. These reactions can be triggered by smells,
objects or activities associated with the trauma. A child may
be unaware of the triggers and of any of the behavioral
changes that occur. They are not intentionally showing they
are anxious or fearful.
Children of different ages
react in different ways to trauma.
Birth to 2
years
Without the ability to speak, children cannot
describe the event or their feelings. They can retain memories
of particular sights, sounds, or smells. When they are older,
these memories may emerge in their play. Babies may be more
irritable, cry more often and need to be held and cuddled
frequently. They will respond to the caring that is given to
them by an adult.
Preschool and
Kindergarten
In the face of an overwhelming event, very
young children can feel helpless, powerless, and unable to
protect themselves. When the safety of their world is
threatened, they feel insecure and fearful. Children this age
cannot understand the concept of permanent loss. They believe
that consequences are reversible. They will repeatedly
recreate parts of the disaster in their play. These are all
normal reactions. Abandonment is a major childhood fear, so
children need frequent reassurance they will be cared for and
will not be left behind.
Activities for home or
school: play acting, physical contact, puppets, art,
stories, large muscle movement (throwing balls, etc.).
School age (7
to 11 years)
Children at this age have the ability to
understand the permanence of loss from a trauma. They can
become preoccupied with details of it and want to talk about
it continually. They may not be able to concentrate in school
and their grades drop. Since their thinking is more mature,
their understanding of the disaster is more complete. This can
result in a wide range of reactions: guilt, feelings of
failure, and anger.
School age children can
also slip back into earlier behaviors. As in younger children,
sleep problems can appear. Their anxiety and fear may be seen
in an increased number of physical complaints.
Activities for home or
school: play acting, puppets, drawing and painting, sharing
their experiences in groups, reading, creative writing or
discussion.
Pre-adolescence and adolescence (12 to 18
years)
In this age group, children have a great need
to appear knowledgeable and experienced to the world,
especially to their family and friends. When they live through
a traumatic event they need to feel their anxieties and fears
are shared by their peers and are appropriate. Because they
survived the trauma, they may feel immortal. This can lead to
reckless behavior and taking dangerous risks. Their reactions
are a mixture of earlier age group reactions and reactions
that are more adult. Teenage years are a period of moving
outward into the world. However, experiencing a trauma can
create a feeling that the world is unsafe. Even teenagers may
return to earlier ways of behaving. Overwhelmed by intense
reactions, teens may be unable to discuss them with their
family members.
Activities at school:
general
classroom activities, literature or reading, peer helpers,
health class, art class, speech/drama, social
studies/government, history.
How To Help
Children
Routines
Children of all ages can benefit from the
family keeping their usual routines—meals, activities, and
bedtimes
as close to normal as possible. This allows a child
to feel more secure and in control. As much as possible,
children should stay with people with whom they feel most
familiar.
Special
Needs
Accept the special needs of children by
allowing them to be more dependent on you for a period of
time. Give more hugs if they need them; let them keep the
light on at night or not sleep alone or return to having their
favorite teddy bear or blanket; don't mind their clinging
behavior.
Media
Coverage
Following a disaster, everyone is eager to hear
the latest news about what happened. However, disaster
research has shown that unexpected messages or images on
television were frightening, causing a reappearance of
stress-related problems. In addition, anyone who watches the
disaster coverage can
become what is called a "secondary victim" and can
suffer emotional and physical problems. It is best to not
allow children to watch news coverage of the disaster.
Feelings and
Reactions
Children express their feelings and reactions
in different ways. Your acceptance of this will make a
difference to how your child recovers from the trauma. This
means accepting that some children will react by becoming
withdrawn and unable to talk about the event, while others
will feel intensely sad and angry at times and at other times
will act as if the disaster never happened. Children are often
confused about what has happened and about their feelings.
However, don't be surprised if some children don't seem to be
affected by what they have seen and heard. Not everyone has
immediate reactions; some have delayed reactions that show up
days, weeks, or even months later, and some may never have a
reaction.
Talking about what
happened
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Listen to and accept
children's feelings.
-
Give honest, simple,
brief answers to their questions.
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Make sure they understand
your answers and the meaning you intend.
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Use words or phrases that
won't confuse a child or make the world more frightening.
-
Create opportunities for
children to talk with each other about what happened and how
they are feeling.
-
Give your child an honest
explanation if you are feeling so upset you don't want to
talk about what happened. You may want to take "time out"
and ask a trusted family friend to help.
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If children keep asking
the same question over and over again it is because they are
trying to understand; trying to make sense out of the
disruption and confusion in their world. Younger children
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will not understand
that death is permanent, so their repeated inquiries are
because they expect everything to return to normal.
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If the child feels
guilty, ask him or her to explain what happened. Listen
carefully to whether he or she attaches a sense of
responsibility to some part of the description. Explain the
facts of the situation and emphasize that no one, least of
all the child, could have prevented it.
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Let the school help The
child's teacher can be sensitive to changes in the child's
behavior and will be able to respond in a helpful way.
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Even if you feel the
world is an unsafe place, you can reassure your child by
saying, "The event is over. Now we'll do everything possible
to stay safe, and together we can help get things back to
normal."
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Notice when children have
questions and want to talk.
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Be especially loving and
supportive; children need you at this time.
When To Seek
Professional Help
Children are amazingly flexible, even though
they can be deeply affected by trauma or losses. Sometimes a
child can be helped by a counselor who can provide a safe
place to talk about what happened and their feelings. Getting
professional help is a good idea if a child shows any of the
following changes for longer than three months following the
trauma:
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Behavior or academic
problems at school.
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Angry outbursts.
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Withdrawal from usual
social activities or play with other children.
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Frequent nightmares or
other sleep disturbances.
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Physical problems such as
nausea, headaches, weight gain or loss.
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Intense anxiety or
avoidance behavior that is triggered by reminders of the
event.
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Depression or a sense of
hopelessness about life or the future.
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Alcohol or drug use
problems.
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Dangerous risk-taking
behavior.
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Continued worry about the
event as a primary focus in life.
Certain events may make a
child more vulnerable to having difficulty. If a child has
experienced a recent loss such as a divorce, a death of
someone who was close, or a move to a new neighborhood, he or
she may feel particularly overwhelmed by the trauma. A
traumatic event can reactivate the emotions associated with
previous traumas, which can be overpowering.
Seeing a counselor does not
mean that a child is "mentally ill" or that you have failed to
support him or her. Following a trauma, many adults and
children have found that it is helpful to talk with a
counselor who has specialized training in post-traumatic
reactions and can help them understand and deal with how they
are feeling.
Print out and save these tips as a helpful
reference
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